 Nearly 3 years ago, I stepped out of my office to take a phone call from my GP who sounded rather panicked after receiving my mammogram and ultrasound results from that mornings appointment. She told me that I needed to come and see her urgently that night at 6pm and that they had found something on my scans that they were concerned about.
Surprisingly I didn’t feel that worried at that point as just two weeks before (two days after my 40th birthday) I had sat in her office where she had done an exam to try and find a lump that I had felt in the shower. She couldn’t find it and even though I wasn’t due for mammograms until I was 45 , she had the foresight to send me off to have a mammogram anyway saying “It’s probably nothing and you’re too young to have breast cancer “. Interestingly I shoved that form in my handbag and left it there for over a week dismissing it as nothing more than a precautionary thing I would get around to ‘at some stage’ when things weren’t so busy at work. About a week later as I was rummaging around in my handbag that form fell out onto the floor and I nearly threw it into the rubbish bin. A voice as loud as anything came into my head and said “Go and get it done. If it’s nothing you have nothing to lose don’t you?” and I booked in to have it done the following day. Thank God I did or I am not sure I would be standing here today. After I met with my GP that night, she explained that she had booked me the following day to see a breast surgeon where they would do a biopsy. I went home, told my husband and off we went to the surgeons office thinking I would have the biopsy and then it would be all OK. But before he even did the biopsy he sat us both down and told me outright “I have some bad news. I can tell before I even do the test that you have cancer “. And then my world went into a complete tailspin. I was reeling from the shock and couldn’t remember much of what happened after that. I knew I had the biopsy and he told me I was booked for surgery in seven days time. He then gently proceeded to bombard me with so much information and gave me lots of options and decisions to make. He also prepared me that depending on what the pathology report showed after my surgery that I could be looking at up to 12 months of treatment including chemotherapy, radiation and possibly 10 years of anti-hormone drugs. And so off I went on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, decisions to be made, information to be digested, family and friends to tell and all in the space of just a few days before surgery. Fortunately, after my surgery, I received the good news that I was lucky, I had caught it early, but it was an aggressive, rare form of breast cancer and I would need to go through chemotherapy and radiation just to make sure as an ‘insurance policy’. And so the next rollercoaster ride commenced. Just over three weeks after surgery, I commenced treatment – chemotherapy followed by radiation. And while I tolerated the treatment well compared to some, it wasn’t easy and there were plenty of dark, tough days and side effects that stay with me even today. But as much as it was a tough time, there have also been many positive gifts that getting cancer has given me. For me that was the gift of discovering my own strength & resiliency. I remember distinctly the day my biopsy results came through I was in a book shop and I picked up a book by Ian Gawler, a cancer survivor called ‘The mind that changes everything’. From the moment I read the first chapter I knew what I had to do and that I had the strength to do it. You see when you are faced with a tough situation in life you can do one of two things – what you want to do (run and hide), or what you have to do (stand and face what comes next) I never knew that I had the strength to pull myself up off the floor when I felt so sick I could hardly walk. I never knew that I could get through round, after round of chemotherapy with drugs designed to destroy everything in my body and still put a smile on my face, or feel grateful every day that I was just simply breathing. I never knew that I had such amazing friends and family that would be there for me through it all, with little messages of support, a phone call or a home visit with a casserole or soup which I drew enormous strength from. But most of all I learned that being ‘resilient’ isn’t always about being ‘stoic’ or ‘tough minded’. It’s OK to actually be vulnerable and afraid for it is from there that you draw strength. The most resilient people I know get knocked back like everyone, feel intense emotions, and have plenty of days when they feel like they can’t possibly climb the mountain. And yet as human beings we all have an innate strength and ability to adapt when we are faced with adversity if we can just allow ourselves to tap into it and overcome our own self -doubt blocking us from achieving what we think is impossible. As Bob Marley once said “You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice” Catherine Woodley is a life coach and cancer survivor, specialising in workplace resiliency coaching programmes. As a cancer survivor she is making it her mission to help those struggling with burn out and stress to build resilience in the workplace . Find out more at www.truenorthcoach.co.nz
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AuthorCatherine Woodley has over 15 years experience in senior corporate sales & marketing roles. As a cancer survivor she is making it her mission to help those struggling with burn out and stress to find their purpose in life and to build resilience in the workplace . Archives
November 2017
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